Saturday, December 7, 2013

Campito Lives! 2013



High in the White Mountains of Eastern California,
Way up in the sky, among the sweet-smelling sage
With those scattered old trees—Bristlecone Pines—
There roams a solitary one:
They call him CAMPITO…
 Wild Horse of the Whites…

We’ve heard that, briefly, there were three. Sometime in the late ‘90s they just…appeared. Then there were two: a “white” one (maybe palomino?) and an almost-black bay. This white horse was with the bay some while—perhaps for a few summers—then just up and vanished… leaving Campito all alone. And you can imagine how lonely a lone horse would be.
            Nobody knows how he got a name that stuck so well. Anyone who calls him anything calls him Campito. Every spring he arrives with the greening, often while there’s still a few patches of old snow, and spends summer through fall grazing out on those open sagebrush  flats, nibbling little clumps of grass and sedge that grow among the gray-green brush. All…by…himself, just below timberline, under the blue-blue sky with a kind of wind that knows how to blow. He stays up there even after snow comes again. A friend told us how one dry December, roads still passable, she saw the stalwart horse—still there—searching for any shriveled bits of dry grass he could find. Think about him: standing out in the open at 11,000 feet during those long, cold nights. At some point, something calls him and he reluctantly wanders down the mountain; probably down its eastern slope toward some valley beyond. But…nobody knows where Campito goes to weather his winters.
            Every spring, though, back he comes. Those few people who live and work in the  Whites, and all the regular summer visitors, look forward to seeing him again (like they do the returning alpine wildflowers). There he is! It’s Campito! He’s back! You can see him from a long ways away—a tiny, dark dot on the mountainside—but, often as not, he’ll be standing right near the road, going about his business. Which is eating grass. Seeing him again (especially that first time in the spring) always brings up bittersweet emotions and unanswered questions. Where did he come from and where does he go? How can he stand to be so alone? Is he an outcast or just an old grump? What does he think about all day? Whatever, whichever: seeing Campito makes you glad. And sad. At the same time. As the years have gone by, he’s become a legend, a symbol, and remains an enigma. This tale is just one version of what little we think we know about him. And that’s a part of Campito’s mystique: who knows who really knows his story?
           
Campito was once tamed but was born wild and remains mustang at heart. He has a “freeze-brand” on the left side of his neck—all captured mustangs, whether they like it or not,  receive a unique identifying mark and stallions are gelded. (The special branding iron, which can be adjusted to make patterns of parallel lines with varying spaces between, instead of being pulled from a bed of red-hot coals, is taken from a big thermos-type bottle of liquid nitrogen. It doesn’t hurt but the horses’ hair thenceforth grows in white. So Campito has what looks like a white bar-code on his neck just under his rangy mane.) It’s quite likely that he was first captured at the north end of the Whites, where herds of mustangs still thrive. So he may not be that far from the land of his birth and, though doubtful, he could possibly winter somewhere over there.
            He was adopted by a local outfitter who owns and operates a pack-station in the Sierra high-country west of Bishop. More than likely, Campito was trained as a pack horse—too wild to ride—but for a time he could’ve been going on trips into Kings Canyon National Park, hauling freight for dudes on vacation. They named him “Charlie.”
            Problem was: Campito had his Wild Heart and was not so compliant as some horses— even mustangs—who want more than anything to be part of the herd. He proved to be an escape artist. We were told that the pack station owner chose not to chase Charlie down that last time he broke out of jail…just let him go. (As for Whitey and the even-more-mysterious “third man”: did they all break out together? Meet up later? These are some missing puzzle-pieces.)
            Just last summer the Forest Service ranger told us that this outfitter, as it turns out, lives on a ranch down in Chalfant Valley (which is right near the base of White Mountain Peak) and it’s where he keeps his livestock during their off-season. We were sorry to learn this as it removes a very romantic element from Campito’s story: an imagined scene of him and his fellow-escapees heading for freedom, across Owens Valley from way over in the High Sierra. This odyssey capped by a mad midnight gallop, across Highway 395 through the headlight beams of oncoming semis, before wearily making it up into the Whites at last. Nooo…it was most likely just the long climb up one of those endless ridges that started only a couple of miles from that outfitter’s ranch. Maybe they reached the crest near his namesake meadow, where Campito (we’ve always assumed he was ringleader) informed his steadfast companions, like Brigham Young did his fellow pilgrims when they entered Salt Lake Valley, “This is the place.
 Campito’s summer range is surprisingly small. He has several distinctly favored hangouts and is virtually never seen except at one of three locales, spending the most time in Campito Meadow. Once used as sheep pasture by Mexican herders, it’s an acre of gently sloping greenery watered by a spring and surrounded by sagebrush, beneath a round-topped mountain of the same name. This spot (less than a mile from the turnoff to Methuselah Tree) is where he’s commonly seen ambling around, often right near the road—a real tourist attraction.
One mile south, in the vicinity of the road leading to Crooked Creek, is Big Prospector Meadow, (not named for a large miner) which isn’t as meadowy but also has a little spring that flows until mid-summer…or used to. It’s been dry for several years now so, to get a drink, Campito has been walking down into a nearby creek-bed that has its own, more reliable spring.
His third haunt is a mile east of Big Prospector in another lovely, spring-fed meadow out on Sagehen Flat. One small area to the side of this little meadow (whose spring has also been dry the last few summers) is strewn with manure in a concentration you’d only expect to find in a small corral. It’s evident that Campito has spent more nights sleeping peacefully in this one little spot—his querencia, or, “safe place”—than any other, by far. From the summit of Blanco Mountain, a prominent local peak with sweeping views, you can easily see him when he’s down in that meadow, a black speck in a tremendous spread of mountainous terrain under almost too much sky. It’s a moving site that truly puts his world—and yours—in perspective.
Lots of people stop when they spot the wild horse and get out of their vehicle for a better look and to snap photos; some try to approach him. Each and every one of us who are acquainted with Campito secretly long to be the one and only person he’d let walk up and pet him. He “knows” humans and displays obvious curiosity when someone is slowly walking toward him; he’ll stop grazing and watch their approach with mild interest, then resume feeding while keeping a wary eye on them.
If you try it, when you’re within a hundred feet or so he’ll begin to amble off. If you stop, he’ll stop, and turn to look you over. The two of you can happily enjoy one another’s company from this distance, and it’s only if you keep trying to get closer that he’ll finally become annoyed and run off. He often demonstrates his irritation in dramatic fashion by arching his neck down, nose almost touching the ground, while unloading a sky-ward, double-barreled kick. After galloping off—a joy to watch—he’ll stop and turn to look at you quizzically. We’re probably just imagining it but there’s something in this open gaze that seems shyly friendly.
Campito knows what carrots are, oh yes. The ranger, a very kind-hearted man, used to try and lure him with this well-known form of horse-candy. No luck…but when he’d leave them behind and check next time he came through, the carrots were always gone. Now he just leaves them—not as a treat, but as a gift. (And since they’re a gift, expecting no favor in return.)

So that’s about all we presently know about “our” wild horse. He’s in fine condition; trim but well-fed, and to all appearances in tip-top health. His coat gleams. But he’s not getting any younger. Campito’s been up in the Whites now for going on twenty years. (And, of course, we have no idea how old he was when he arrived; probably not very.) He’s in remarkably good shape and is a beautiful, noble creature with loads of equine charisma.
But how’s his mental health? In one of his journals, nature-writer Edward Abbey wrote, “All solitude, too long endured, leads to madness.” (Cactus Ed stole lots of other authors’ aphorisms and reworded them a little…this sounds like one he maybe “borrowed.”) But it’s true. Most horses could never stand to be all alone like Campito; many will go berserk if suddenly separated from their herd and will jump fences or crash through gates to get back with their amigos. He doesn’t have to be alone—Campito could surely find other horses if he felt the need. No: the reclusive Campito wants to be a hermit-horse. He seems completely self-possessed and contented; not at all forlorn or dejected. And this is why we care for him so very much, are concerned for his welfare: we admire the loners who exist on society’s fringe, who live by a code all their own…who have few needs beyond a little something to eat, a place to sleep, and their freedom. We may feel something akin to envy for that sort of fortitude. It’s a rare quality, and getting rarer. Or maybe it always has been.

And, speaking of Ed Abbey: in his book, Desert Solitaire, there’s a chapter entitled, “The Moon-eyed Horse.” (A moon-eyed horse is one that has a minor, but striking, physical flaw: some white around the pupil of their otherwise-black eye.) Ed himself is the “solitaire” of the book’s title but this chapter—many readers’ favorite passage in Abbey’s masterwork—is about a lone horse who roams a remote box canyon somewhere in the Utah red-rock country. Abbey, who has seen him before and knows something of the outsider’s story, is out helping a rancher-friend gather lost cows, spots “ol’ Moon-eye,” and resolves to capture the horse (who isn’t a mustang) and take him back to civilization. For the old horse’s sake, of course—why would the dang fool want to be all by himself? Predictably, Ed fails. But it’s a poignant story and obviously intended as a parable; Abbey’s heroes were always loners.
Desert Solitaire is ostensibly a work of non-fiction. What people don’t know is that this story is at least partially, perhaps mostly, made up. There may or may not have even been a Moon-eyed horse. (Many Abbey fans would be disappointed; Ed, in his writings—if not his personal life—was big on honesty.)
But this Wild Horse of the Whites, Campito, is no fictional character. No.
He’s real.
Better than real: a true western legend in the flesh.


In the cage there is food.
Not much, but there is food.
Outside are only great stretches of freedom.

                                                 —Nicanor Parra

***For a more recent, updated take on Campito, check out Homage To Campito          https://timforsellstories.blogspot.com/2023/01/homage-to-campito.html
                                                                                                                       
  


©2013 Tim Forsell                                                                                                                   6 Dec 2013

Monday, November 4, 2013

Tabby Girl 2003

My mom has a beat-up old chest—I suppose all mothers do—that contains a trove of nostalgia: her wedding dress, my dad’s love letters, old photos, kid-stuff. For obvious reasons I was never allowed to explore its contents and all my life the thing has been talismanic of the sanctity of a woman’s memory-world. When I was young I’d happily explore her underwear drawer with all those secret things but to this day would never consider opening that trunk. She has looked through it with me—once, long ago. So far as I know she gets into that special mood about once a decade. Not too long ago she did and when I came to visit last time had an item from the green chest that she handed to me without explanation but with an enigmatic smile. It was a shirt-pocket sized spiral-bound notepad that cost a dime in 1966. The first six pages were covered on one side with a child’s crude printing—mine—and it proved to be an essay about my beloved kitties. I had no memory of writing it but this was no school project and is possibly the first literary effort of an eight-year-old boy, a third-grader….

My cat tabby is going to have kittens. She will have to Mate first. But when she dos’e there will be alot of kittens. But I will start at the begaining.

Tabby Girl

One day a girl named Carry Martin had this little kitten. I saw it and asked if I could show it to my mom and dad. She said yes because her mother hated cats. So I took it home. My family said she was beutiful and so did I. She start purring and climbing on us. We petted it and it purred louder and louder and she climbed like mad. We wished we could keep her so much we could not stop playing with her. In the morning I went out side and there was the cat! And every morning she came and we broght her in the house every morning. We fed her milk and kracker too! Fineily we started feeding her with rascle and Smoky. So we kept her because we could not get rid of her. So one night we came together and named her  We called her all kinds of names. But they dild not fit. So I said: How about tabby every body said it was a good name so that was how tabby got a name. Well ever since tabb has got fun and exitment with Dogs and rascle, butterflys, birds, grass hoppers, people, bugs, and all kinds of things. Tabby is very kind unless people bother her. Because tabby gets scared. Most people get tabby and hurt her so in self Defins she scratshes them. Tabby should not do it but she has to. Some people hate cats and try to kill them. That’s what I prevint because I’m a cat lover. I go krazy about cats. But now we get to the good part. Now tabby is going to have kittens. About a mounth ago tabby had a sighn of getting kittens now in about a mounth she will have them. Tabby has started to mate. As soon as she has kittens the start nurseing. That is not far from now but tabby is a great cat and now I can hardly wait  tabby will as other cats have them in a secret place, and she will have her kittens then. This is all I know yet about tabby.                                                                                                                          

15 Sep 2003, 6 Dec 2012


© 2012 Tim Forsell
All rights reserved.

Welcome to the Wild Kingdom 2006

Here at Crooked Creek Station (where I work in California’s White Mountains, east of the Sierra Nevada) I’m presently hosting a group of two dozen undergrad geology students from U.C. Santa Barbara. They’re presently studying “structure” (how different rock formations are arranged) and the fieldwork—geologic surface-mapping exercises—is out in Deep Springs Valley at the famous Poleta Folds, well over an hour’s drive from here. It’s been scorching-hot down in the high desert so they’ve been climbing into their big, white vans well before dawn to beat some of the enervating heat and get back by mid-afternoon to do “homework.” Breakfast is at the unholy hour of four a.m. A couple of days ago I was too tired after dinner to do any prep work and set my alarm for the even unholier hour of one-thirty. (There’s at least a hundred individual tasks to perform, what with laying out an elaborate spread of brown–bag lunch-fixings and a homestyle breakfast; these I perform in a half-awake, chaotic, non-routine.)
            The kitchen/dining room is about seventy yards from my cabin. I walked across a dark, sandy parking area and into light cast by a sixty-watt bulb above the broad, concrete walkway fronting our lab building where, in 1957, Dr. Edmund Schulman had a “Eureka!” moment. When done counting the growth rings, revealed by a core sample taken from a Bristlecone Pine that same day and only a few miles away, he realized that he’d just identified the oldest-known living organism. It soon became famous as the five-thousand year-old Methuselah Tree.
            Since breakfast has been so early I’ve been leaving this light on all night to aid my passage across the broad parking area. (I’m not anywhere near fully-awake when I leave my cabin.) This morning in particular it was shockingly warm for ten-thousand feet—50° F—and, when I stepped onto the brightly-illuminated concrete, saw scores of insects swinging in crazy arcs around that light and perched all over the wooden wall. This would be nothing of note in lowland country, especially our humid southern states, but up in these high mountains it’s seldom warm enough for bugs to fly at night. I got kind of excited (I’m quite fond of insects…) and paused to take a quick survey of my light-worshipping visitors: moths various and aplenty, delicate Ichneumon wasps, fearsome-looking but harmless snakeflies and craneflies. Farther along, as if under a spotlight all by itself on stage, something large and utterly different. What…? A few paces and I found myself kneeling before a beautiful and exotic insect which, again, wouldn’t raise an eyebrow in Alabama. But here in the dry White Mountains you seldom see moths with three-inch wingspans and fat, furry abdomens. (Later that morning I found from my field guide that this was a “Cerisy’s Sphinx.” Its wings, held at an unusual angle and the forewings with a half-twist, were exquisitely-patterned in rich tones of tan, brown and chestnut. Perched against the bark of a willow (where they live) it’d be invisible; but all by itself on the white concrete under that sixty-watt bulb this strange critter was a stirring sight.
            I walked back out several times while working on breakfast to see if the thing was still there. It hadn’t moved and refused to budge, even with a little nudge from my fingertip. I feared that one of the half-asleep students would step on it but no one did. (I checked while they were all eating.) And, as I’ve done on various similar occasions, walking past my diners I spoke up and said, to no one in particular, “We had a big insect-hatch in the night. There’s a crazy, huge moth perched out there on the sidewalk.” I must say, I’ve been disappointed to find how seldom I’ve sparked interest with these casually-delivered pronouncements. Such as, once, “Uh…there’s a cormorant down on the pond this morning.” And no one even looked up…alas.
            But this time I got a taker: A big, jovial, gregarious fella—Scott, one of their three TAs but only member of his group who’d come into the kitchen to chat—actually wanted to see the whatever-it-was. So out we went (sky still pitch black, full of stars) and knelt side-by-side on the walk. Perhaps because of the “commanding presence” large insects have, along with the moth’s finely patterned wings and aesthetic coloration, Scott was suitably impressed. I sure was….
            After admiring it for a minute we headed back to the dining room but, rounding the corner, I glanced back. “Oh! There’s a mouse!” We stopped to look: one of our native Deermice was making its way up the walkway right toward us, darting in and out of shadow, following the lab’s wall in mouse-fashion. It’s somehow humorous to see a mouse’s furtive nocturnal scurrying out in the open. I thought, wordlessly, How tiny! How utterly vulnerable and defenseless! We both stood watching it come toward us and I also thought that if my cat was around….
             Just then it finally dawned on me what was going to happen and I said in a whisper,  “It’s going for the moth.” (Lots of people aren’t aware that mice are omnivores and some, like the Grasshopper Mouse, mostly carnivorous.) Sure enough, the Deermouse turned away from  the wall and, in a final bee-line rush, it fell upon the lovely (but hapless) Cerisy’s Sphinx.
            There was no ghastly roar, no battle-churned dust cloud, no shrieks of agony, no gore. But this brief drama encapsulated the same brutality and primal violence of a Cheetah dragging down a Gazelle. Except in miniature. The struggle lasted only seconds—but long, long ones: attacking, mouse seized moth (perhaps a bit more than half mouse’s size and weight). Seized it with deft, clawed toes, and sank its minute fangs into the neck region. There was some tumbling, some fluttering of wings, and it was over. Carrying its prey in its jaws, a suddenly-fearsome, ruthless predator dashed forward, still coming straight toward the stunned witnesses and disappeared under a sagebrush bush right at our feet where it would gorge itself on warm moth-flesh in safety. Scott, obviously shaken by the savagery, said, “That was intense!”
            “Welcome…to…the Wild Kingdom,” I intoned. Scott was too young to have heard of Marlon Perkins. Or about the very first TV nature-show. But he knew exactly what I meant.
           
Later, in daylight, I went out and parted that sagebrush bush’s low-lying branches and, sure enough, there were the moth’s beautiful wings—neatly clipped off at their base and discarded like hooves or horns or hide. The gorgeous, earthy colors and tasteful patterns reminded me of an Indian blanket so I gingerly picked them up and put them in a little wooden box with other of my found treasures.                                                                                       


                                                                                                            27 Jun 2006, 3 Nov 2013


© 2013 Tim Forsell
All rights reserved.
                  

Monday, July 29, 2013

A Blues-Induced Reverie 2004


My old friend, Lorenzo—the figure-of-speech king—has this odd expression he breaks out on rare occasions: Bus-man’s holiday. It sounds awfully British and, near as I can tell, denotes “something one does for pleasure in their spare time that they also do to make a living.” As in: a bus driver, on vacation, taking a bus tour for the fun of it. Or, say, an auto-mechanic who fixes cars on his days off. A peculiar turn of phrase (though very Lorenzo-esque) but it resonates and now I use it, too. Every so often I’ll tell somebody, “I’m going on a bus-man’s holiday.” What? Then I get to explain: it means I’m leaving one of my mountain hideaways—Piute Meadows cabin or the shack on Granite View Road, right below Lone Pine Peak—to head off on a jaunt into some other mountain range (or an obscure desert canyon) in search of a little R & R.
Such was the case last October when, right after our seasonal lay-offs, Michael Rodman and I went on a backpack trip into Sequoia National Park after spending all summer walking around in other parts of the Sierra. We’re both veteran Forest Service wilderness rangers who’ve been extremely fortunate to work in such wonderful places and—this is very important—with supervisors who were also friends and allies. But both of our work-seasons (his, out of the Lee Vining office; mine out of Bridgeport’s) had been plagued by tense struggles with new bosses and the angst spawned by dealing with inferior superiors. Both of us were just beginning to emerge from under clouds of frustration and resentment; our summers had been very nearly spoiled. We needed healing in the form of some primitive and unconfined recreation.
            Joining us were Michael’s cousin, Dan, and Dan’s girlfriend, Erin. The couple were from Philadelphia, PA but moved out west a year ago to pursue their dream of becoming farmers. They were living simply and quietly on a small collective, growing organic vegetables, and had been working long hours during several harvests—entire days spent bent-over between the rows—but had a little break before the next crops came in. The two were eager to go visit Sequoia for the first time while this lengthy spell of delightful Indian-summer weather held out.
This would be Erin’s second Sierra backpack; Dan’s third. Last fall, Michael took them on a shorter version of our planned walk but they got into the enchanting, near-timberline groves of foxtail pine that thrive in Cottonwood Lakes Basin. Both had been powerfully affected by their previous visit; this was exotic terrain for the easterners. And those trees! So Dan and Erin would receive a sort of hazing from the professionals: taking a particularly-scenic, cross-country route into “The Park,” we’d pummel these flatlanders with majestic vistas and tastefully-arranged alpine vignettes…gently guide them to that state-of-heart which, on crystalline October days, can elicit rich emotions fringed in something akin to anguish. For Michael and myself, escorting two wide-eyed novices into our backyard Wilderness would add even more zest to the days ahead.
           
The morning after Erin and Dan arrived, we packed hastily at Casa Malengo. Michael, uncharacteristically serious, passed out group-equipment and supplies. In turn I was handed a couple of avocados, several fancy Belgian chocolate bars, a jumbo-sized red bell pepper, two tall cans of Guinness Draft, and a quart of white gas. Deftly, my cohort loaded his own pack with the heaviest freight to keep down the weight on our friends’ backs. (When Dan protested he said, “We’re only going out for a few days!”)
            For us fortunates who live up on Granite View, accessing The Park entails driving down three miles of sandy washboard and turning right onto paved Horseshoe Meadows Road, which dead-ends at a trailhead after a little over fifteen miles—fully one mile higher—up in the red-barked foxtail pines where it’s never, ever hot. Michael carried us in his trusty old Toyota pickup; three up front, with me wedged (fairly) comfortably between our packs in its open bed, watching those big views stream by. A bone-dry Owens Valley spread and deepened as we climbed, while distant desert ranges rose out of the eastern skyline one after another. We got to the parking lot in an hour and found it nearly deserted. (By mid-fall, backpackers—fearful of being caught in an early snowstorm—have largely stopped taking trips into such high country.)
            And you don’t go far up the Cottonwood Lakes Trail before you’re over 10,000 feet. The first couple of miles are dry and mostly flat. Then you cross a creek, take an abandoned cut-off trail (because it’s prettier and you lose the other hikers). Open flats, dense lodgepole pine forests…crumbling remnants of a log cabin. You skirt meadows beside a chatty creek…sense wonders up ahead…climb through some bouldery old moraine, crest a final rise, and—Oh my!—Welcome to the alpine fantasy-land of Cottonwood Basin! You feel almost as if you’ve walked into a new world—it’s that dramatic.
            We stepped through this portal into an extensively-glaciated basin famous for being native home to the golden trout. The trail ascends in steps past a string of azure-hued lakes prone to shimmering, with the squat bulk of 14,000 foot Mt. Langley always in view. Much of this easygoing terrain is decomposed granite—coarse, gravelly sand—filling in the flats and depressions between great expanses of talus left behind by huge ice-rivers when they last withdrew. Foxtail pines, where they can root in the thin soils, form open stands with virtually no understory. Trees in these solemn, almost-spooky groves have been artfully sculpted by wind, snow, rain, and drought. Adversity breeds character. Dusk approaching, we strolled past scores of the charismatic conifers, past one lake and then another, with no one else around…at all. A sweet silence reigned.
We found a fine place to camp in this soft, sandy hidden-hollow on the crest of a moraine with a skinny creek just below. We filled our bottles there, not bothering to filter. Got set up, sleeping bags laid out; made a judicious little Indian-fire and had supper and good cheer. There were several types of glow—from the libations, our little fire, a half-full (not half-empty) Moon overhead, countless stars, the Milky Way….
            After dinner, Michael and I were lured into taking a walk—that clear-sky Moon and thousands of stars’ light bouncing off the pale ground made it bright enough to read by, see colors by—and we were naturally drawn uphill to a craggy granite point that presented a 360° view. To the west: the Sierra crest (also Park boundary), with Mt. Langley right behind us…to the east: the Inyos, the Cosos, the Argus Range. And on the southeast skyline was Telescope Peak (summit of the Panamints) with the glow of Las Vegas—well beyond Death Valley—looking like another moon about to rise.
We stood there above timberline—so mild we were in shirtsleeves—sweating  from the climb. Absolute, untainted stillness. Our little campfire—a third of a mile away—was the only non-celestial light we could see. The two of us had spoken not a word since leaving camp and were quietly taking in the views from our perch, still honoring the silence—a rare and precious thing in our busy world. So many people have never even “heard” total silence. I have…inside caves. And up on a mountain in the course of this breezeless Indian-summer eve, another variety; a kind that helped open my senses to an awareness of all the space. Stars had strangely taken on a quality of being actual other-places. Mesmerized, that’s what I was wordlessly thinking when a thing of inexpressible beauty splintered our fine silence and carried me away.
 Music…call it “Blues of the Spheres.”
 Dan began to play his harmonica. Michael and I could hear him with stunning clarity from our balcony seats in this grand theater. With no competition we heard the blues from maybe six hundred yards—but the tune sounded as though it was coming through a door from the next room. Ethereal sounds in the form of classic blues riffs drifted our way, offered to the night by a fine musician. It was utterly arresting; he sounded so close. I looked over at my friend but he was gazing off, clearly rapt, lost in his own…. Grinning jubilantly and listening as hard as I could, electric energy coursed up my spine and crackled on my scalp. I began to cry. Not to be over-dramatic—I wasn’t weeping—but joy-tears welled up, overflowed, and a few ran down my cheeks. This doesn’t happen to me very often. It takes something special to loosen me on the inside so that I can feel this way. Feel grace. (Music has done it before.)
            But it wasn’t just the music, superlative acoustics, or even my brand-new, revised view of eternity. It was also about standing on the edge of a cliff with a night-world lit up and spread out below and there being a tiny dancing spark of firelight where our friends were, where our beds were—which, on this night, was home. No one else for miles around. When Dan began to blow us a tune on his harmonica, seeing that tiny, bright light way down in the foxtails—I was right by that fire with them, listening to Dan play. But no. I felt far away—miles away, up in the sky—looking down on a wide world through eagle-eyes. And I saw my greater home, the Eastern Sierra, this fine place on our truly exceptional planet where I’ve chosen to make my stand. The tingling and tears came as a surprise gift. It was gratitude that I was feeling. For all.
            When it ended we drifted back to camp separately and have never spoken about what happened that night.
                                                                                                              
                                                                                                           
29 Mar 2004, 6 Jun 2013


© 2013 Tim Forsell

All rights reserved.